Use this ranking system.
The science:
Married couples tend to argue about the same issues, such as intimacy and communication. According to a new study, it’s the order in which you discuss them that matters: Happy couples focus first on problems that are easy to fix, then on ones with less clear solutions.
Expert insight:
Say your SO feels that he or she carries more responsibility around the house, and you resolve the imbalance with a simple redistribution of chores. Small wins like that can give you the confidence, as a couple, to address bigger issues such as finances or family affairs, says study author Amy Rauer, Ph.D., associate professor of child and family studies at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville.
They also put you in a solution- rather than a problem-oriented mindset, she notes. If you go into a discussion about complex matters with that mentality, it’s more likely to result in a fix, not a perpetual argument.
The bottom line:
When you and your partner have issues to work through, rank them based on solvability. Discuss those with the easiest fixes first and work your way down the list, whether you tackle them all at once or one at a time over several weeks or months.