This mindset will help you move on from setbacks.
In December 2015, Trevor Moawad’s wife asked him for a divorce. Neutral thinking got him through it.
This practical, judgment-free mindset sits somewhere between the two states of thinking that have long been recognized by experts: positive and negative.
"Champions don't think negatively or positively—they think neutrally," says Moawad, a mental conditioning coach based in Manhattan Beach, California. Neutral thinking is based less on a construct of clear actions and more on the absence of negativity. The approach essentially helps you move on rather than become debilitated by negative experiences.
During his divorce, for example, Moawad embraced this mentality and acknowledged that his future would exist independently of his past. This mindset can help you remain calm and make the best of any less-than-ideal situation rather than ruminate on it, whether it's failing to hit a race PR, breaking up with your SO, or missing out on a promotion at work.
It’s so powerful that Moawad has made a career of teaching neutral thinking strategies to elite athletes and business executives since 2000. His book, It Takes What It Takes: How to Think Neutrally and Take Control of Your Life, also focuses on the topic. Take one of Moawad’s longtime clients, Denver Broncos (formerly Seattle Seahawks) quarterback Russell Wilson, as proof that the techniques can drive performance and success.
At 5-foot-11 and 204 pounds, Wilson was considered much too small to be a top quarterback in the 2012 NFL Draft. He was picked 75th overall. Since starting to implement neutral thinking techniques, he has surpassed expectations and holds the record for the most wins by an NFL quarterback through seven seasons.
"Great people become great through great behavior, mentality, and language—not great aptitude,” Moawad says.
Here, how to become a neutral thinker so you can foster all three.
Forget your inner voice (kind of).
People spend too much time focusing on the inner voice, which can be erratic and has much less power over behavior than the outer voice does, Moawad says. Rather than get hung up on the thoughts in your head, shift your focus to what you say out loud.
If you tell a friend, for example, that you expect to overeat at that night's dinner party, you'll set yourself up for failure, he says. Instead, reframe the narrative to reflect what you want to happen—even if you doubt yourself. Verbalize that you're looking forward to indulging mindfully in a cocktail or a sweet treat, and you're more likely to succeed.
Cleanse your consumption.
You don’t have to rely wholly on yourself to make the above change. Whether your emotions and language are positive or negative is highly influenced by what you watch, listen to, and consume on social media. Unfollow the accounts that make you think less of yourself and your self-worth will improve.
Still, negative thoughts may cross your mind now and again. When they do, Moawad challenges you to acknowledge them and let them go. The most important thing is that you avoid expressing that negativity outwardly, say, by making a self-degrading comment.
When the day is up, assess how this task has impacted your mental state and your interactions with others. The more you practice, the more it will become your default way of thinking.
Write about your ideal self.
Moawad describes the most successful people as consciously competent: They know what it takes to succeed on a high level and they do it on a consistent basis. Visual reminders of your goals and how you can achieve them help you embody that trait.
To get the benefits, write down your goal followed by a list of personal qualities that will contribute to your success. Michael Johnson, an American sprinter who won four Olympic gold medals and one of Moawad’s clients, included hard work, commitment, and discipline in one of his roundups.
Keep the list somewhere related to your goal. You might put it on the fridge if you have a nutrition mission, in the drawer with your workout clothes if it’s rooted in fitness, or at your desk if it’s career-focused. Seeing it will reinforce behaviors that help you progress.