Discover how moments of solitude can actually help you recharge. 

Recently, there has been an intense focus on the dangers of loneliness. In May, the U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, released a report titled Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation in which he shared: “Loneliness is far more than just a bad feeling — it harms both individual and societal health…The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.” 

Though alarming, the report has prompted another conversation around the idea of solitude and where the line between the pleasure of being able to enjoy one’s own company and loneliness can be drawn. 

Can Solitude Be Beneficial?

One 2023 study sought to understand the relationship between loneliness and time spent alone. The conclusion: It’s not quite as straight-forward as “more time alone equals more feelings of isolation.”

“Our findings reveal a notable age-related distinction in the relationship between time spent alone and feelings of loneliness,” says Liliane Efinger, a Ph.D. student and one of the researchers. Specifically, there isn’t a significant association between isolation and loneliness among adults younger than roughly 40.5 years old. But past this age, increased isolation is actually linked to heightened feelings of loneliness, she explains.

This divergence could be due to the differences in social interaction between the age groups, Efinger suggests. When you’re young, you’re likely to have plenty of opportunities for peer interactions, whether it be at school or entry-level jobs, she explains. But as you age, those interactions may dwindle. “They may undertake roles such as starting a family or pursuing demanding careers, which inherently limit the time available for socializing,” Efinger notes. 

Exploration of solitude has long been a focus for Thuy-vy T Nguyen, Ph.D., an associate professor at Durham University’s Department of Psychology and the principal investigator at The Solitude Lab. Today, her research focuses on solitude as either a life choice or a temporary moment that people choose or happen to experience during their day — and how that impacts them. She stresses that in examining your relationship with solitude, you first need to start with how you perceive it. 

“So far, more consistently we find that the differences between enjoying solitude or finding it distressing is dependent on how we perceive that time in solitude as beneficial to us or as a time that we don’t see any value in,” she explains. “There’s a time when solitude is welcomed, and then people can engage with it more meaningfully. But when we perceive it as being forced on us, that’s when people struggle to spend that time constructively.”

From her research, Nguyen has found that people who feel like they have a strong network of friends or close relationships are more likely to value the time they have alone.

“We tend to think of solitude as something that is the opposite of social connection,” she explains. “But actually, research has shown that there is a positive correlation between people who have positive social connections in their life and their experience with solitary time. Whereas when people feel disconnected from society or excluded from their current social network, that’s when the time spent alone can become lonely and isolating.”

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Nguyen also points out that people are more inclined to have a negative perception of time alone if it feels forced upon them or they don’t have true control of their time. Consider first-time mothers. When they’re staying at home alone, caring for their child, they often say they feel like they don’t have much control of their time, as it’s dependent on their baby’s schedule, says Nguyen, who’s currently collecting research on the group. “So their activity is dictated by their child, and they lose some of that controllability over that time, making time alone feel lonely, [bored], and [isolated],” she adds.

But this sense of having no control is becoming a more common concern among all individuals, not just mothers, says Nguyen. “There are times where people just have more or less control of their time, especially today where there are so many conversations around work-life balance and a general sense of time poverty,” she says. “This can make time in solitude feel negative.”

Of course, most people can relate to the forced solitude of the pandemic. For those who had to stay home completely alone, it may have felt particularly distressing. “But within that, some people were able to find ways to make the most of that time and to find some joy in it,” Nguyen says. “Some people were able to create new routines or discover new hobbies, and that’s an example of the impact of how changing your approach to solitude can change your perception of it.”

This is just one of the ways in which moments of solitude can prove to be positive for the individual, according to Nguyen. “Having short periods of solitude can help with rest and recovery,” she explains. “When we have a brief period of solitude, strong emotions drop — that includes the excitement and joy that is heightened during social interaction, but also anxiety and fear. Social interaction brings all sorts of emotion to the surface, and solitude brings those down and allows for other calming emotions to take place, meaning you can feel recharged.”

How to Tap Into the Benefits of Solitude

While experiencing solitude for too long can lead to boredom, fatigue, and loneliness, there is a sweet spot when it can bring a short-term restful effect, allowing you to recharge your batteries and reconnect with yourself.

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For those struggling to draw the benefits of solitude, Nguyen recommends starting out by reframing your perspective. “We have to start at the motivation component — what are some of the benefits we can find from this time? Research has shown that it can be a good time for rest, relaxation, and self-reflection. That’s down to attitude. But many people have also said that planning helps them manage it better. Bring in choice and control. Decide how you want to use that time.”

If you tend to find yourself feeling anxious or overcome with worrying thoughts during time alone, Nguyen recommends doing activities that are aligned with the restful potential; many people find spending time in nature one of the best ways to utilize alone time. Just make sure you don’t default to working, which will counter all the benefits of solitude.

“People don’t engage with time alone meaningfully — when we’re in social interactions, we can rely on other people to provide the meaning. But when we’re on our own, we struggle to know how to do that. If anything, I think our ability to enjoy time alone is really rooted in how we can reclaim the experiences in our life,” says Nguyen. “Solitude really is special."