With digital burnout on the rise, could apps actually help people reconnect in person?
When it comes to growing social isolation, phones and social media have been seen as the main culprit. Multiple studies have suggested that dependency on devices, and frequent engagement with them, can be linked to decreased happiness and increased anxiety. One 2023 study even showed that higher levels of social media use are related to higher levels of loneliness.
As lives have moved more online — 70 percent of American adults reported using a social media platform, compared to five percent in 2005 — this has undoubtedly impacted in-person social engagement. According to the Displaced Behavior Theory, people who spend more time in sedentary behaviors, such as social media use, have less time for face-to-face social interaction.
While there are many studies about the mental health impact of social media and device dependency, there are also many studies stressing the importance of real-life social engagement. According to a Harvard Medical School report, social connections “not only give us pleasure, they also influence our long-term health in ways every bit as powerful as adequate sleep, a good diet, and not smoking.”
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Although there’s shared gratitude for the connectivity that devices and apps provide, there seems to be a strong desire to get off your phones and get back to meeting in person. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the world of dating. In April, data analytics company Singles Reports conducted a survey of 500 18- to 54-year-olds and found that nearly 80 percent said they experienced emotional burnout or fatigue with online dating. And the feeling continues to pop up in the cultural zeitgeist. Last August, The Cut published an article by a writer whose dating app had become her “longest relationship.” This past summer, influencer and podcaster Tinx declared it was time to get off the apps and embrace “the summer of outside.” And even dating app Bumble published a blog post on coping with dating burnout.
For New York-based entrepreneur Nandini Mullaji, apps were clearly a big part of dating fatigue. But they could also be part of the solution.
“Dating apps are supposed to be a way for you to go out there and meet people. But the way they’ve been structured means that you spend more time on your phone swiping, messaging, and going back and forth, than actually going on dates,” she explains. “From my research, the chances of going on a date with someone you’ve matched with on an app is actually less than two percent, which is crazy.”
Picking up on the common complaints around dating culture in the city, as well as her own research, Mullaji became convinced there had to be a better way. This led her to develop SETUP, a new dating app that removes messaging and scheduling — it’s set to launch in New York early next year. After running a pilot program with 3,000 New Yorkers, Mullaji found that people were very receptive to the idea of cutting back on digital contact and getting straight to the in-person experience.
“They’re fine not spending time on an app to figure out if the person meets their specific criteria. Only 20 percent of people said they felt that they needed to really get to know or understand a person before going on a date with them,” says Mullaji. “People just really want to get out there. They want to have that romantic, in-person moment, not have this important part of their lives only exist online.”
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When launched, Mullaji’s dating app will join a growing group of apps that are specifically built around getting people outside and socializing in person. Meetup, which invited users to find a social group around a shared interest, was one of the first apps to do this in 2002. Another dating app, Thursday, bills itself as the “offline dating app.” Why? The company limits digital matches to one day per week, and hosts in-person mixers at different spots across London and New York.
Many are also turning to long-existing apps with a fresh perspective. The personal fitness tracking app, Strava, was launched in 2009 after founders Michael Horvath and Mark Gainey found that they missed the social aspect and support system they experienced during their time on the Harvard University crew team. While the app allows individuals to track their workouts — from runs to bike rides — it also encourages users to connect with fellow fitness enthusiasts. Despite having been around for years, the app blew up during the pandemic; it’s been reported that three million people joined in both April and May 2020 — triple its previous numbers. The app continues to be a key platform for runners to connect, thanks to its in-person run meetups. Some have even reported that it’s become their new dating app.
After moving to London, Dan Holden was interested in finding a way to explore the city, and try out different pubs. Pubs had long been an epicenter of British social life, a place to hang out casually and, once you had a local go-to, come to know familiar faces. Yet in London, he found it hard to establish the same social roots. After starting out as an Instagram account and — in his own words — “low-grade website,” where he reviewed his experience at different pubs, the project evolved into Pub Club, a word-of-mouth monthly social gathering at different London pubs.
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“Now we just organize it all through a WhatsApp group,” says Holden. “It’s a monthly gathering where you can drop in, bring your friends, meet new people, and just hang out — we’re really just trying to get back to what socializing in pubs used to be.”
Nowadays, the community has become so active, with regulars and new faces appearing at each event, that Holden has found keeping up with the club’s social media channels completely unnecessary.
“The whole point is that you want to be present, and we’ve ended up having such a nice time at these gatherings that all you want to do is spend time enjoying it, catching up with old friends, or meeting new people,” he says. “It’s amazing how such a simple thing can feel so heartwarming.”