Motivating yourself doesn’t have to be a self-deprecating process.
With the new year on the horizon, you may be vehemently planning when exactly you’ll fit in all of your workouts. But what’s actually getting you through the Club door: Is it your genuine passion for working out and moving your body? Or do you feel like you need to “earn” or “work off” your holiday meals?
Critiquing and tearing yourself down over a slice of pumpkin pie — to the point where you need to schedule your next Pilates class ASAP — isn’t as helpful as you think it is. This self-deprecating form of motivation is impacting your mental health and your workouts, experts say.
The Mental Impact of Using Self-Deprecation for Motivation
Using self-deprecation as a form of motivation commonly stems from childhood experiences with family, friends, social media, and that one high school gym teacher who was never satisfied with your performance. “As humans, we often focus on the negative instead of the positive,” says Tiffany M. Stevens, M.A., L.C.P.C., a licensed clinical professional counselor and the founder of Graceful Growth Counseling. “As a result, what we think we deserve or don’t deserve is impacted — and so is the way we think about and speak to ourselves.”
That focus on negativity only increases with the constant comparison that happens online, according to Natalie Hope, Equinox’s group fitness and events manager. “[Comparison] combined with an existing opinion of a negative body image may [lead a person to] engage in self-degradation in order to exercise more intensively,” she explains.
The effects of using self-deprecation as a source of motivation go beyond your workout. By leaning on self-deprecation to find the will to move your body, you may be increasing your risk of developing depression, anxiety, and (ironically) feeling unmotivated, says Stevens. “It also causes pessimism, resignation, frustration, fear, and a feeling of powerlessness,” she notes.
Plus, consistent negative self-talk can warp how you see yourself. According to Stevens, it prevents you from realizing your full potential. “If your beliefs are limited or distorted, you begin to believe the negativity, which can put limitations on what you believe you can be, do, or have,” she adds.
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How to Shift Away From Using Self-Deprecation as Motivation
Although your negative self-talk may have been years in the making, it is possible to reframe how you motivate yourself. First, you’ll need to become more mindful of the harmful thoughts that pop up when you’re on autopilot. “Become more aware of your thoughts so when unproductive negative thoughts come up, you are able to catch [them],” Stevens notes. “If you notice that you are using words that are not life-affirming, take note and find substitutions.” In turn, you’ll stop crowding your brain space with unnecessary negativity and shift your focus to what you actually want.
The next step, following Stevens’ advice, is swapping out your inner critic for an inner coach. Your inner coach celebrates all of your wins and takes the time to show gratitude to your body for helping you to hit each milestone. That said, your inner coach doesn’t need to be overly positive all the time. It can be a neutral inner voice that acknowledges the work that has been done and the setbacks that took place, yet it still cares for the body in a way that will support it for the next session.
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During your next group fitness class or training session on the Club floor, try motivating yourself with these positive, uplifting phrases, recommended by Hope and Stevens.
• I am grateful for my body and all that it can do.
• I don’t have to do it — I get to do it.
• I deserve to be happy and healthy.
• All I need is within me right now.
• I got this.
• I can do tough stuff.
• Today, I will be patient with myself.
• I am working on becoming a better me.
• My body deserves love and care.
Curating the best inner coach might not come easy, but it’s essential to creating a better relationship between you, your body, and healthy living as a whole.